People-Please Much? Top Tips on How To Say NO With Zero Guilt

Your best friend is asking you to hang out and you want to say no because you have something urgent to do or you just don’t want to hang but you fear saying no because you fear hurting them or them hating you. Ever been there? I’m guessing we all have.

Being always the ‘nice’ guy can be derailing for you and pretty harmful for your friendship. For starters, the probability that you will end up feeling miserable about yourself and holding resent over them are extremely high.

It is important to note that saying ‘no’ has nothing to do with being aggressive or not loving others. No is such a perfect way to set healthy boundaries. It is a process however that demands solid friendships that involves deep maturity and parties that understands the role each one of them play in the relationship/conversation.

With that said, below are the most effective way to say no:

Be Selfish

I know how it sounds but you have to be selfish and make yourself a priority in all situations. Be wary of making individuals who drain your cup without refilling it in any way the priorities in your life, it will eat you up inside out and leave you dry. Warren Buffet once said that the difference between the very prosperous individuals and the prosperous ones is the fact that the very prosperous ones say no to nearly everything.

Take your time

When a person asks you for anything, you are not obligated to respond to them as soon as the words leaves their mouths. Whatever response you feel pressured to give, you must not give it, take your time rather, to cool down and determine what you really want. Matter of fact, normalize using the phrase, ‘i need to check my schedule and get back to you’ and take as long as you need to respond.

Be a principled person

Being principled has a lot to do with setting boundaries. It is all about being straight forward with your words which gains you and your all time decisions great respect. The respect on the other hand will give you unquestionable trust no matter how vague the excuse you give is.

Play around with counteroffers

Suppose a friend is asking you to help with something you might not be in a position to offer. It is one thing to turn them down flatly and empty handed and it is quite another to offer them an alternative. For instance say, ‘ I might not be able to help or I might not be available but I know of someone who could offer the best services’. It is soothing and trust me, it goes a great way.

Note: You are the CEO of your life and you have all the rights to throw the ‘no’s’ around like a confetti whenever it serves your highest purpose. However, learn WHEN, HOW and most importantly IF to say no to your boss, family ,members and loved ones. Also, it might be respectful and human to respond politely to that random person who might bug you down the streets with some surveys and sales offers, it sure won’t hurt.

Cheers.

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